I am not who you think I am
I have dreams, goals
I have smiled
I have laughed
But every morning
I put on my leather jacket
My black makeup
My scowl
Because maybe it is better this way
This way people stay away
Because I’m toxic
I will ruin your happiness
I hardly smile anymore
Let alone laugh
I’m the one who made bad choices
My “friends” used to care
Used to talk to me
I guess they just got tired of me
Even strangers stay away
Because of the scars, cuts, and burns
Ever since I got back
Back from that place
That terrible place
That hospital
My “friends”
Don’t want to be around me
It’s probably my fault
It always was
Yet no matter how much I apologize
I am never forgiven
I give them monologues
About how sorry I am
But it goes nowhere
Sometimes I look at all of you
As I walk down the hallway
Or sit in class
And think
Yep
Not one of them would care if I tried a third time
Tried to end it all
Again.

Anonymous